My wrist watch

I'd like to re-iterate that my watch absolutely did not get stolen by the good peoples of Albania who love me dearly.
By the way if anybody knows of a good quality second hand wristwatch going cheap I just happen to be in the market for one.

Front LIne Medics In Iraq

As your commander in chief I am always looking to improve the situation of our brave hero's on the front line. Having recently become most taken with Japanese efficiency (see my last post) I have now ordered that the training for all battlefield medics be taken over by highly skilled Japanese proffessionals.
Medical Team Drops Player - Watch more free videos

Why there is a deficit.

The reason the economy is down the toilet actually has nothing to do with me at all. Its because the average American worker is lazy and stupid. If they were just a bit more like the Japenese then we wouldn't have a problem.

Why I'll be supporting Hilary in 2008

Forget about Guiliani and McCain folks. I want you to know that I, George Bush, your president, shall be reaching out across party lines to support Hilary Clinton for president in 2008. For the good of our nation I ask that you, my loyal followers do the same.

Now I know I might have said some nasty things about Hilary in the past so you may be wondering, why the change of heart? Well the way I see it since my daddy became Ronald Reagan's vice president we've had a Bush or a Clinton in the Whitehouse or thereabouts for coming up 28 years now. If Hilary can clinch it in 2008 and hold on for another term people's memories of MY presidency may just have faded enough to give my brother Jeb a chance. By the time he's done HIS eight years we'll be up to 44 years and people will start to feel a precedent has been set and believe there SHOULD be a Bush or a Clinton in the White House. By this time Chelsea and my own girls Jenna and Barbara should be about ready for their turn and at this point we can start talking about a consitutional ammendment to reserve the post of Commander in Chief for the Bush's and the Clinton's on a permanent basis. Once that's in place
we can start thinking about a plan to drop the Clinton's and impose a straight monarchy.

I know some of you republican die hards out there are going to find this a hard choice, but we have to think of the future folks. Come now people do it for Dubya. Hilary Clinton for president 2008

Virginia Killer Sent Warning Video To White House

Oh boy we gone done it now! Turns out this crazy chink gunmen at Virginia Tech sent a warning video directly to my office 2 weeks ago. Karl Rove just found the thing on his desk. Soon as we put it on we realized we were in trouble. Actually me and Karl did watch the thing together but we were both high on coke at the time so we didn't remember it much the next day. We sure had a good laugh over it but we just thought it was some crazy hoaxter. Didn't think he was actually gonna go ahead and DO IT. Oh shit what the fuck we gonna do now. I let Karl make the decisions he's good at times like this. We cut the tape up into real small pieces and burned them with a cigarette lighter. Karl says just don't say nothing and lie like shit. Oh well its worked enough times before. Holy shit, if this ever comes out . . . . . .

Virginia Tech Shootings

There was a real old party atmosphere in the Oval office today with the news coming in over the wire about the Virginia shootings. Obviously its always nice to have something to take peoples minds off Iraq for a few weeks and of course we all love to see a little bit of blood spilled but most of all it's just so nice to get the opportunity to look Presidential. I made a statement at 4.00pm and was absolutely delighted with the way it went. I have been practicing my "Somber" look on a daily basis recently and felt that all my hard work is truly begining to pay off. Indeed I actually managed to get through the whole statement without smirking once! Afterwards Laura and Condi both said I looked fabulous and statesmanly.
Karl (Rove) was even more excited about the whole thing than I was and said my ratings should definitely get a 4 or 5 point boost out of this even if it only lasts for a couple of weeks. At the moment we're just trying to decide how to get the most milage out of the whole thing. Karl definitely things a trip to the campus would be a fantastic photo op and we're thinking perhaps personal messages to the victims famillies might play well. Meanwhile some of the boys in the backroom think this might be a great moment to start the war with Iran or maybe give a pre-emptive pardon to my old pal Wolfavits who of course has been having a bit of a hard time lately. Dick and Karl want me to save my pardons for them in case this whole Plume afair isn't over yet.
The only downside to the whole thing is of course it gives all these anti gun nuts a chance to shoot there dumb mouths off about how folks shouldn't have access to high tech weaponry and that whole line of bullshit, still overall definitely a good hair day. 8/10

Why do they still like me?

Immediately after 9/11 in the wave of blind patriotism which naturally followed (and before folks got wind of the fact that I might actually have been responsible for it) my approval ratings peaked at about 92%. From that time onwards they steadily decreased until, finally about a year ago they leveled out at around 30-40% depending on which opinion pollster you happen to believe. My ratings have remained there or thereabouts ever since. This confused me. It wasn't as if I suddenly started being a better president or anything. So why didn't the ratings continue to go down. Over time I have come to the conclusion that these people would still support me if the Lord Jesus Christ came back to earth and I raped him live on television out on the whitehouse lawn. Yet still I asked myself the question, "can these people really be dumb enough to still think I'm a good president." then I discovered THIS video "What the hell does that have to do with anything." you may well be asking. Well the answer is, not a lot. But the comments left about it on YouTube are highly enlightening. Ignore the ones by people who say they believe the thing. Those people may be foolish, but that kind of retard acid head flower child doesn't vote. It's the people who who felt the need to argue with them that are the true morons. Supposedly rational human beings not only too stupid to understand a joke, but so outraged as to be moved into penning earnest rebukes exposing the "fraud" and pointing out the "holes" in the story. In a flash it is suddenly clear to me. Yes folks, people really are THAT stupid.

Moqtada's Call To Arms Falls On Deaf Ears

An attempt by radical shiite cleric the Moqtada Al Sadr to organize a mass protest against what he calls the American "invaders" today backfired when less than a couple of dozen iraqi's bothered to show up. When interviewed, Abdul Ahmed, 33, one of the few who was there said
"I came by mistake, I got mixed up with carnival day, we like the Americans." Another said "Before the Americans came here it was boring, nothing much ever happened, now every day brings fresh excitement, we want them to stay." A spokesman for the Moqtada Al Sadr said
"He is too embarrassed to comment, we believe he has gone into hiding 'till this thing blows over."
Note: The above picture appears to show more people than were actually there. This is due to unusual lighting effects.